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... Kim Daewoo, owner of Seoul, Korea's Kim Daewoo Dogmeat, says his company is always
accepting "donations" of live pet dogs to make popular Korean entrees like ...
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Here is the actual material our affiliates received Thursday, August 15th...
GEORGE W. BUSH - ECONOMY (USA Today) - Bush: Economy is under
control. WACO, Texas — President Bush assured Americans Tuesday that his
administration has a steady hand on the economy. "We're pleased with some
progress, but we got more to do," Bush said at a half-day economic forum he
convened at Baylor University. Critics called the confab a public relations
stunt.
GWB: Mornin' there, Sparky! It's me, Dubya! Just callin' to
reassure everyone there in (CITY) that I've got my finger on the pulse of the
economy... and ANOTHER finger the pulse of Dick Cheney! If either one goes Code
Blue, I'll know it instantly!
DJ: That's reassuring, sir...
GWB: And let me further reassure you and every investor that
they can expect a "BULL" market! Yep! When a company issues an earnings report,
chances are, it's bull!
DJ: Sir, what about the Standard & Poor...
GWB: Hey, I'm not here to comment on YOUR life, Sparky, I'm
here to reassure America...and promise to review every stock's P/E Ratio! Which,
of course, is the ratio of investors who wet their pants as their stock goes
down the toilet! You could say it's my "number one" priority!
DJ: Groan! But sir, aren't market fluctuations necessary for
investors to "buy low, sell high?"
GWB: HEY! I got no problems with people buying low, but if we
catch people selling high, we're gonna require a urinalysis before they can
place an order! Which brings us back to the P/E Ratio! But I ain't got time to
go into that now; the CEO of the nation's largest internet portal is waiting in
the lobby! Just what I need this morning, some YAHOO! Hey, Viagra con Doritos,
y'all!
HILLARY CLINTON - BAR (NY Post) - August 14, 2002 --
Hillary aide in bra-zen romp. AN uninhibited aide to Sen. Hillary Clinton was
thrown out of the Ritz-Carlton in Battery Park City the other night after
stripping down to her bra in the hotel bar. Kara Hughes, Clinton's director of
economic development, was having drinks at the hotel's 14th-floor Rise bar
Friday at about 8 p.m. She went outside to the open-air patio where, our witness
reports, a guy she was chatting with suddenly doffed his dress shirt. Hughes
answered the bare-chested challenge by unbuttoning her blouse and tossing it on
the ground. One of her red-faced friends grabbed the discarded top and quickly
ushered the bra-clad Hughes back inside. Moments later, a wobbly Hughes
re-emerged on the patio, with her blouse back on - but not for long. "She
started to take her top off again," reports our witness. "It was about halfway
to three-quarters of the way off when two hotel security guys came up to her and
dragged her off. "I didn't see her after that. I guess she got thrown out of the
hotel."
HC: Yes, this is Hillary Rodham Clinton, how are you this
morning, (DJ)?! Well, isn't that special! Look, I heard you talking about one of
my aides who got drunk in a hotel bar and stripped down to her bra! I fired her
last night!
DJ: Are you serious?
HC: Cross my heart! As far as she and I are concerned, we are
officially lifted and separated!
DJ: It was only her bra, Mrs. "C." What are the chances you
would hire her back?
HC: Well, her chances of being rehired are about like her bra;
we're talking "miracle!"
DJ: I still don't understand why you're so upset.
HC: She was my director of economic development! She was
supposed to fight inflation, not flaunt it!
DJ: I'm sorry, but I think you over-reacted...and here, this
poor girl is out of a job.
HC: Not any more; Bill hired her this morning! He still hasn't
decided on what her position will be! My guess is, Bill will want her working in
the area of finance...but only because she has a history of losing her shirt!
Look, I'll call ya later...
ELVIS - SEANCE (E! Online) - DAD APPROVES:
British gossip site Peoplenews.com reporting that Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie
Presley held a pre-engagement seance to get Elvis' blessing for their weekend
wedding in Hawaii. He reportedly gave them the okay. FREE to all
affiliates.Offered via phone.
EP: Uh, yeah, this is the King! I didn't exactly give them my
blessing! I thought Lisa Marie was asking me something about putting her
ex-husband in a cage! I said "HELL YEAH!" Damn cellular static! Now I'm stuck
with ANOTHER weirdo son-in-law! Know what I mean? I think ya do...
(USA Today) - Airline fires pilot for positive alcohol test.
Mesa Airlines has fired a pilot who tested positive for alcohol shortly before
he was to fly 28 passengers from Little Rock to North Carolina, the airline said
Tuesday. The incident on Friday was the third involving a commercial pilot and
alcohol since July 1.
*Has anybody checked to see if the Al Qaeda has
planted bartenders in all the airport lounges?! Just curious!
*Which is
worse, the plane getting bombed...or the PILOT?!
(USA Today) - Home to 'Sopranos'. The kitchen/family room, the
formal dining room, the curving driveway — this home in the September issue of
Architectural Digest will be familiar to fans of The Sopranos. It was scouted
for use in the HBO series, which based set designs on the brick house in North
Caldwell, N.J. Some exterior scenes are shot there. The plans are available on a
Web site (sopranohomedesign .com), and the owner/builder, Victor Recchia, tells
AD that 250 replicas have been built.
*I understand the builder offers
appliance upgrades that you can't refuse!
SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Frisbee Pioneer Dies, Ashes to Be
Made Into Discs. "Steady" Ed Headrick, the California inventor who figured out a
way to make the Frisbee fly fast and straight, has died at the age of 78. His
family said his ashes will be made into Frisbees. Headrick died in his sleep
early Monday at his home in La Selva Beach, California, his son Ken told the
Santa Cruz Sentinel on Tuesday. While no services are now planned, Headrick's
ashes will be molded into a limited number of "memorial flying discs" that will
be distributed to family and friends, and sold to help fund a future
Frisbee/disc golf history and memorabilia museum, his son, Ken Headrick, said.
*Ashes to ashes, dust to disc!
SEOUL, Korea (Wireless Flash) -- Fed Up With Fido? Feed Him To
The Kids. Are you over Rover? Fed up with Fido? Well, now you can donate him to
a dogmeat company. Kim Daewoo, owner of Seoul, Korea's Kim Daewoo Dogmeat, says
his company is always accepting "donations" of live pet dogs to make popular
Korean entrees like Morima Geagogi (dogmeat sticks) and Su-Lug (dogmeat soup.)
Daewoo says all folks have to do is show up to one of his many farms located
through out Europe, Canada and Korea and drop their doggie off. However, don't
try to dog him. He says pets will only be accepted if they're "sanitary."
Daewoo, who says dogmeat tastes like kangaroo or horse, admits he's never owned
a pet dog though he says he'd like to someday.
*Well, that explains
what happened at that Korean restaurant I ate at the other day. The appetizer
tried to sniff the entree's butt!
(Circulating on the web) Pfizer Corp is making the
announcement today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and
will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.
Pepsi's proposed ad campaign claims: It will now be possible for a man to
literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft
drink. This additive gives new meaning to the names of cocktails, highballs and
just a good old fashioned stiff drink. Pepsi will market the new concoction by
the name of Mount And Do.
Thursday, August 15, 2002
WOODSTOCK DAY - The Woodstock Music
and Art Fair opened on this day in 1969. Two dozen bands came to play on a
wooden stage in the middle of a pasture. It was a happening unlike any other
before it ... and, probably like none after. 450,000 people formed a love-in for
three days and nights.
1848 - M. Waldo Hanchett of Syracuse, NY patented the
dental chair.
1877 - Thomas Edison wrote the president of the Telegraph
Company in Pittsburgh, PA. The letter stated that the word, “hello” would be a
more appropriate greeting than “ahoy,” as suggested by Alexander Graham Bell
when answering the telephone.
1911 - Procter & Gamble Company of
Cincinnati, OH introduced Crisco hydrogenated shortening.
1914 - The Panama
Canal opened. The U.S. steamship "Ancon" was the first ship through.
1948 -
CBS-TV inaugurated the first nightly news broadcast, with anchorman Douglas
Edwards.
1969 - Three Dog Night (Danny Hutton, Cory Wells and Chuck Negron)
were awarded a gold record for the album, Three Dog Night. Where’d the name of
the group come from? In Australia, the aborigine tribes of several regions slept
outside all year. As the temperatures got colder, the tribesmen would sleep with
a dog to keep warm. In colder weather, they would huddle with two dogs. It must
have been an extremely cold night when the group was formed...
1970 - On
this day, Mrs. Pat Palinkas became the first woman to ‘play’ in a pro football
game. She held the ball for the Orlando (Florida) Panthers.
1971 - Bahrain,
a group of islands in the Persian Gulf midway between the tip of the Qatar
Peninsula and the Saudi Arabian mainland, gained independence from Great
Britain. It became the State of Bahrain.
1980 - I Me Mine, an autobiography
by former Beatle George Harrison, went on sale.
1981 - Lionel Richie and
Diana Ross hit number one on the pop music charts with their beautiful duet,
Endless Love. It was a huge success for the two singers. Endless Love was number
one for 9, count ’em, nine weeks.
1983 - Six-month-old Lisa Harap of Queens
Village, NY became the youngest identifiable living person to appear on a cover
of TIME magazine.
1984 - New York City turned out to honor the Team USA
Olympic medalists. An estimated two million people lined the streets during the
10-block-long ticker-tape parade.
1984 - Pete Rose returned to become player
and manager of the Cincinnati Reds after being away from his hometown for six
years. Rose had been in Philadelphia and Montreal.
1991 - Paul Simon
performed a free concert in Central Park, New York. The show attracted some
750,000 people. The album, Paul Simon’s Concert in the Park is still attracting
people.
1996 - Bob Dole won the Republican presidential nomination. At the
party’s convention in San Diego, he offered himself as the “bridge to a time of
tranquillity” and described himself as “the most optimistic man in America.”
1997 - The Los Angeles Dodgers retired player, scout, coach, manager,
executive Tommy Lasorda’s uniform #2 in a pre-game ceremony at Dodger Stadium.
1997 - Films opening in the U.S.: Cop Land, starring Sylvester Stallone,
Harvey Keitel, Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro, Janeane Garofalo, Robert Patrick,
Michael Rapaport, Annabella Sciorra and Malik Yoba; Event Horizon, with Laurence
Fishburne, Sam Neill, Kathleen Quinlan, Joely Richardson, Richard T. Jones, Jack
Noseworthy, Jason Isaacs and Sean Pertwee; and Steel, starring Shaquille O’Neal,
Annabeth Gish, Richard Roundtree, Judd Nelson, Irma P. Hall, Ray J and Charles
Napier.
Today's Birthdays
TV chef Julia Child is 90.
Singer Bill Pinckney of The Drifters is 77. Actress Pat Priest ("The Munsters")
is 66. Drummer Pete York of The Spencer Davis Group is 60. Author-journalist
Linda Ellerbee is 58. Actress Debra Messing ("Will and Grace") is 34. Actor Ben
Affleck is 30. Actress Natasha Henstridge ("The Whole Nine Yards," "Species") is
28.